[Editor’s note: Award-winning cartoonist Matt Bors is moving his irreverent comics publication, The Nib, to First Look Media, The Intercept’s parent company. He will also be a contributor to The Intercept.]
A few months ago, I made a couple of drawings of little penises with Donald Trump hair and mailed them to friends. You know, for fun. Today, “Donald Trump defends size of his penis” is a real CNN headline on planet earth.
We’ve come to the portion of the GOP primary where penis size is critical. It happens every cycle, but never so explicitly as this. Trump, who appears to be very psychologically injured about the whole small hands thing, assured America that it has no bearing on his penis, which is absolutely beautiful, tremendous, the best, he has some of the most brilliant people working on it, it’s very incredible, I mean really you oughta see this thing.
Where do we go from here? It’s increasingly looking like it could be Hillary and Trump and I can only imagine what sexually profane insults and comparisons will be hurled her way, especially with Bill in tow, another man whose penis we’d heard quite enough about.
Here’s a panel from my sketchbook that didn’t make the final cut:
Rumor has it that there was been a real spike in the sale of smelling salts attributed to the unusual sensitivity of Americans at this time. Incurable forms of Neuralgia are being reported nation wide. And of course much fainting by both men and women which is being blamed on Donald Trump’s robust vulgarity!
Just to set the record straight,
it was Marco Rubio who started the whole penis discussion.
One problem I have with this focusing on penis comparisons
is that it sort of implies that Hillary Clinton lacks the same
dickishness as the republicans.
Imagining the mundane characteristics of Trump’s penis
seems to be easier than seeing the blatant horror which
Clinton and her ilk (from both corporate owned parties)
have, in fact,
regularly unleashed upon people around the planet.
The worship of phallic power is central to the corporate capitalists.
In England, the word “trump” is slang for passing wind. Explains all that noxious hot air, usually from people who are full of crap.
CNN missed the reference — sometimes you need someone who really reads science. This is what you want:
http://www.nature.com/nature/journal/v390/n6655/full/390029a0.html
I’d summarize it like this: long ago the predecessors of fish developed a specialized tail end with what eventually became bony projections, i.e. a fin. Over time this tail-end structure evolved to spread to other parts of the pre-fish body so it could move around better, and ultimately this became specialized as particular fins here and there. Some of those fins later turned into our arms and legs. And yes, one little bit of tail-like structure came to serve as an intromittent organ. And so some of the same Hox genes – genes that control the overall patterning of the body axis from head to tail – control different “tail” like bits in the fingers, the toes, and the penis.
Of course, this is massively too simple, many genes are responsible, etc. You can knock out these particular genes in a mouse and affect the toes and penis at once, but many others will affect one but not the other. So like everything in biology, you don’t get a guarantee. But it can be a clue.
True, this genetics was suggested already in C.H.U.D. II (1989) … maybe they had a consultant in a secret government lab? :)
… shall we just presume that Donald Trump dresses to the far right?
Marco, please dont ask (and start another fight we all wish you hadn’t – especially you!).
… and thank you Donald, no proof required.
Oh. For anyone interested in the “science” of hand size v. penis size, please see this CNN article:
http://www.cnn.com/2016/03/08/health/trump-small-hands-penis/index.html
Apparently there is some correlation between finger size and hand size, esp. if the man’s ring finger is longer relative to his index finger. Height is also a factor, as well as the amount of androgen a male fetus is exposed to in utero.
Just, FYI.
It’s good to laugh. At The Intercept.
Thanks Matt!
Donald Trump is only as strong as his supporters. He and his mythical penis have no command over his supporters. Did you know the people who support Donald Trump for president believe Barack Obama was elected, then reelected, by using mass hypnosis to brainwash the public? They actually believe that and talk openly about it online. Google it. Read the patriot-freedom blogs. Read the 2nd amendment blogs. Read the tea party, prepper and rapture blogs. Read the comments and archives. Read the message boards and learn for yourself what Donald Trump supporters really believe.
That last panel was the best one…who cut it?
Too bad the last sketch didn’t make it past the final cut…
Thanks for this! A little humor helps in these depressing times.
Almost 2 decades have passed since the party of Evangelical Christians and family values revealed an insatiable fetish for cum-stained dresses, cigars-as-dildos, and blow-jobs, so it really seems like a logical progression that their top-tier presidential candidates would focus on the size of their dicks and, in particular, Trump’s apparently disturbingly unendowed appendage.
Remember the old expression that young people start out as liberal then as they grow older mature to become conservative? You certainly won’t hear that ever again.
I managed to remain liberal…but you are right. I imagine the $tep by step details demanded by Kenneth Starr would make a great script for porn. I didn’t read it but got this much by living in the Bible belt of people with all those Christian values (aka-closet perv). After that as I “matured” I wasn’t impressed with their so called Christian values and have my own that Christian and humanity work hand in hand.
I didn’t know. I don’t watch TV. ty I had been searching for a way to explain the Don to his supporters in my pundit posts.