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Michel Temer, thank you for talking to us. How are you?
Hi, how are you, Mr. President? Very good.
Congratulations. How are you?
Thank you, Mr. President. I want to visit Argentina soon.
Good. How was it today?
Yes, I want to visit you. If you invite me, I will happily accept.
Ah, it seems to me that you are a bit mistaken. … Well, Michel Temer, I wanted to ask you a question: What time is your speech today?
I am going to speak at four in the afternoon.
The unforgettable recording of Michel Temer’s phone call with Argentine President Mauricio Macri was Temer’s first international performance as Brazilian president. Just hours after President Dilma Rousseff was impeached, Temer tried out his rusty portunhol (an ad hoc mixture of Portuguese and Spanish) for naught. The nation soon learned that it was actually an Argentine morning radio shock-jock on the other end of the line, calling to prank the unelected president. The episode was a prelude for what would become of Brazil’s new international policy.
In just over six months, Michel Temer and his team have accumulated a seemingly infinite number of international blunders and gaffes. This should not be too surprising, since, domestically, he considered the outspoken ex-model and notorious misogynist Alexandre Frota a qualified enough citizen to offer counsel on the future of the country’s education policy; invited a controversial right-wing protest group, the Free Brazil Movement, to assist on the president’s communications strategy; and has claimed to keep Justice Minister Alexandre de Moraes around because he looks like the ’70s TV detective Kojak. But, without a doubt, the majority of gaffes have been concentrated in Temer’s foreign policy.
When José Serra was named minister of foreign relations, Brazil took on an aggressive role on the continent and an imperialist tone. The new stance is clear: Be rough on countries with left-leaning governments, be kind to those on the right, and wag your tail for the major powers.
This ideological wooden horse pleased the large Brazilian news organizations, especially Folha, O Globo, and Estadão, but seemed strange to the editor of Foreign Policy magazine:
If Serra thinks that reforming foreign policy means to undo what Lula has done, he is not acting in the best interests of Brazil. … If Brazil rolls back to pre-Lula policies, which were essentially, “Let’s have economic policies with some parts of the world, let’s not cause problems, let’s adopt a skeptical-reflexive tone in relation to the United States, etc.,” this would not be good.
Fernão Lara Mesquita, owner of the Estado de São Paulo newspaper, at a pro-Aécio Neves rally in 2014, holding a sign that reads: “Fuck Venezuela.”
Photo: Antônio Augusto Amaral de Carvalho Filho/Instagram
In June, the Foreign Ministry, known as Itamaraty, threatened to change its vote on a UNESCO resolution reaffirming Palestinians’ historical claim to the Al Aqsa mosque and classifying Israel as an occupying nation. Brazil had originally voted in favor of the resolution. A vote switch would not change the result (33-6 in favor of the Palestine position) but would clearly demonstrate a new position more aligned with the United States, which voted against the resolution. The fact surprised a high-ranking UNESCO diplomat speaking anonymously to the Estado de São Paulo newspaper:
The statement indicates that they are leaning towards a change. I understand that Minister José Serra wants to oppose the Dilma Rousseff government, but this will have impacts on bilateral relations and may even represent a break in the Brazilian approach, which is historic in regards to Palestine. … It is strange that an influential country like Brazil would reverse its position in this way.
In a quick about-face, the Itamaraty changed its mind again and said it would actually maintain its vote.
Brazil was represented abroad by a president who no one voted for, a foreign minister who does not know what the NSA is, and an agriculture minister who is the worst deforester in the Amazon.
During his short tenure, Serra has been the protagonist of Monty Python-esque incidents that make the Macri crank call seem amateur by comparison. In the first interview after his swearing in, when asked about the NSA, Serra responded with a question: “The NSA, what is that?” It is hard to fathom how Serra knows Chevron so well — a WikiLeaks cable revealed that he promised Chevron he would change the laws regarding foreign access to Brazil’s massive pre-salt oil fields, after all — but hasn’t heard of the American espionage behemoth that was proven to have spied on Petrobras and the nation’s former president. It appears that Foreign Minister Serra might be better suited as foreign business executive Serra.
In the same interview, he promised to “boost the Itamaraty,” with its underfunded embassies and employee complaints about low salaries. They went on strike in August. In his very specific and unique diplomatic style, Serra ordered striking workers’ salaries cut. The courts, however, blocked this, considering it an excessive response, and reaffirmed the legitimacy of the strike and ordered the salaries paid in full.
Recently, Serra had great difficulty answering an interviewer who asked which countries comprise the BRICS alliance (it’s Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa). Before including Argentina in the group, the foreign minister said that the BRICS was “the group of the largest countries.” It’s like a union leader getting tripped up when asked, “What is a pension?” In the end, the interviewer and an off-camera aide had to help him out. You can get the drift from this video even if you don’t speak Portuguese:
And you cannot say that Serra’s peculiar approach to diplomacy would come as news to Temer. During Serra’s failed 2002 run for president, his campaign jingle went out of its way to offend the second most powerful country in the region: “I want Serra because Brazil wants more. To advance, to improve, to correct. I will not throw away all that I have worked for. With all due respect, I won’t be another Argentina.” And in his failed 2010 presidential campaign, the candidate said, “The Bolivian government is complicit with cocaine traffickers.” Two shining examples of the foreign minister par excellence were yet to come.
Last week, when he went to India and Japan, Temer put together a commission with Serra that included Blairo Maggi, the billionaire minister of agriculture also known as “the Soy King” for his family’s huge stakes in the industry. In other words, Brazil was represented abroad by a president who no one voted for, a foreign minister who does not know what the NSA is, and an agriculture minister who is the worst deforester in the Amazon.
Temer shared the details of a lunch with Putin that never happened. Coup-mongering is truly a state of mind.
Despite returning to Brazil 11 hours ahead of schedule after learning of the arrest of his dear friend Eduardo Cunha on corruption charges, Temer had time to humiliate himself again. Maintaining the diplomatic tradition of his government, the president offered the world one more tall tale when he told reporters that he had met with Vladimir Putin, when, in reality, he is the only president of the BRICS that did not have a one-on-one with the Russian leader. Temer shared the details of a lunch with Putin that never happened. Coup-mongering is truly a state of mind. According to the Estado de São Paulo’s special reporter, the Russians preferred “not to get close to the president after the ‘quick change,’ as they referred to the impeachment of the former President Dilma Rousseff.”
Another important representative of Brazil’s new foreign policy is Marcos Pereira, minister of industry, foreign commerce, and services. A licensed bishop in the sprawling, politically influential Universal Church of the Kingdom of God and right-hand man to its billionaire founder, Edir Macedo, he also put on a little show in Asia. According to José Carlos de Assis, the professor of international economics and recipient of Brazil’s top journalism prize, the bishop “in front of dozens of journalists, publicly ridiculed India’s industrial protection policy” at an event hosted by India. Of course, we will not see the same treatment of the United States’ historically protectionist policies, since Brazil now knows how to put itself in its rightful place. So much so that the nation abandoned its longstanding bid for a permanent seat on the U.N. Security Council. The reason, according to Serra: “That is a fight for the big guys.”
But the hardest thing to believe is what you read in Brazil’s major newspapers: that the greatest merit of the country’s new foreign policy is that it is free from the ideological trappings of former governments — as if it were now driven purely and impartially by skill, knowledge, and science. This belief that the left has a monopoly on ideology is fascinating. It reminds me a lot of a São Paulo resident who swears he does not have an accent because everyone he knows speaks that way.
Top photo: Brazilian President Michel Temer addresses the United Nations General Assembly on Sept. 20, 2016, in New York.
lol it’s kinda funny and tragic at the same time. A vibrant boisterous democracy like Brazil deserves an elected government. This new set-up should call for elections and let the people decide who they want.
There’s one very good about Serra. He referred to Brazil as United States of Brazil, during an interview on TV, and the poor interviewer had to correct him: Federative Republic of Brazil. And Serra gave him the Foreign Ministry…
Meanwhile, in the real world, the IBOVESPA is up 47% this year and Petrobras is up 4x in the NYSE. Since all Brazilians own Petrobras, they should be pretty happy about that.
Nope, brazilians don’t own Petrobras anymore. Temer makes the Congress pass laws that will give away Petrobras and the “pre-salt” to foreign companies. The Brazilian oil is not more Brazilian oil.
The company is still owned by Brazilians because the government owns 54% of the shares as it did before. The new rules simply mean that Petrobras will no longer be forced to be the sole operator and hold a minimum 30% stake in each development. The keyword here is: forced. The old law forced Petrobras to take on a lot of debt in order to develop these fields. It is unlikely a private company would have agreed to taking on so much debt.
Brazilians need to understand that there is a downside to owning an oil company. It means that you also own the risk and the costs of developing each oil well. I live in Canada where all the oil exploration is performed by private companies (including many foreign companies). We still benefit from it through taxes and royalties. Personally, I believe this is a better arrangement because the government is not spending my tax dollars taking risk on oil wells.
Yes. Petrobras took some debt, which is being paid. It is called investment. So what? If it didn’t ,Brazil would be importing crude oil next year, because its old fields are producing much less oil. Today, half of the Brazilian oil productio is coming from pre-salt. And by the way, the risk in pre-salt for Petrobras, which knows their fields, is close to zero.
Close to zero! LOL … there is no such thing in the oil business ma’am.
Some debt? You ain’t kidding! Petrobras became the most heavily indebted company in the Emerging Markets resulting in soaring borrowing rates. All of that for a company that hadn’t generated free crash flow in 8 years.
You ain’t kidding! Petrobras became the most heavily indebted company in all of the emerging markets and it is a company that has not generated free cash flow in more then 8 years! Unsurprisingly, soaring borrowing costs soon followed suit. All of that so that PT could tell Brazilians that the oil is “ours”. The situation was so ridiculous that, when Brazil was trying to auction concessions for the Libra oil field back in 2013, there were plenty of protesters outside of the building but, the conditions of the auction were so egregious, that nobody showed up to place a bid!
Meanwhile, in the real world, we’ve C02 400/PPM levels, which pretty much means that oil & fossils alike will be out of the energy economy by 2030, or else forget about a future for humans.
Stocks can go up and down, but culture is something that takes time. To gage a nation’s success by its stock market is quite pathetic. Plus most poor Brazilians barely benefit from the markets. Welcome to the real world of Planet Earth & Brazil!
Ana Júlia represents the next Brazilian generation coming thru. Move over IBOVESPA
If you are correct and the era of oil/fossil fuels is over, Brazilians should sell Petrobras ASAP. Sell it while it is up and move on. Let the private investors pay for the stranded assets if/when oil wells can no longer be profitably developed.
It is true that the stock market is not the gauge of a nation’s success. However, you are a lot more likely to get a raise or find a job while the stock market is going up. Ana Julia’s speech was moving but don’t forget that Lindebergh Farias was the Ana Julia of the 90s. I wouldn’t be banking my future on that.
At least they are not trying to talk with ISIS, like Ms Rousseff wanted to. That was truly depressing.
Dilma wanted to talk with ISIS? Link, please.
Truly depressing…
Great article!
Thank you for your articles, they are so funny. A perfect mix of reality, a satirical look at the Brazilian with some fantasy.
But the funniest part is that, based on the comments, some of your readers takes you seriously.
Congratulations.
Some people take the current Brazilian government seriously. Fortunately, they are fewer and fewer.
This article has a very strong bias… the author is another left supporter and widow of the impeached president… He is trying to create a image of failure of the government. As a Journalist you should start your article saying you are another barking dog of the previous and VERY corrupt government.
Would you kindly point out what in this situation is not a failure…There always people point out the bad things regadless of who is in power. The author might be biased but the FACTS are not.
I read about the Universal Church of the Kingdom of God in Alex Cuadros’ book Brazillionaires, in a chapter titled Prosperity Gospel. Churches preaching individuals can only really prosper after first helping the church prosper – worship greed, and offer zero redemption or salvation to a world being murdered by that very same god.
Powerful writing, João, well done. The only thing I can suggest is what I kept telling myself while George W Bush was president here, the pendulum swings (still waiting).
I’m thinking there’s a bad joke here somewhere – how England, the U.S. and Brazilian governments all lose their minds and so just decide to walk into a bar.